


A Mother's Journal

by bjbookcase



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2019-03-02 12:31:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13318137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjbookcase/pseuds/bjbookcase
Summary: A collection of excerpts, in particular those concerning her daughter Kathryn, taken from the journals of Gretchen Janeway.





	A Mother's Journal

**Author's Note:**

> Stardates are included to help the curious reader connect happenings in the Alpha Quadrant with those in the Delta Quadrant. Written for the Steamy Summer Exchange, August 2007.  
> (Note: Stephen Pugh’s JavaScript Stardate Converter was used for generating stardates and calendar dates not given in the “Star Trek Voyager Companion.”)

**Journal Entry  
** April 22, 2371 [Stardate: 48306.39]

Dearest Edward,

I know the man was one of your esteemed “wilderness compadres,” but I’m going to kick Jim Patterson’s butt from here to Rigel VII and back. Katie and Mark finally set a wedding date and he’s decided to send her off on a three-week mission. Does he think a wedding plans itself? Or that good old Gretchen will step in and plan this wedding by myself?

Well, I probably could. You don’t hold the Babbage chair in mathematics at the Cochrane Institute for 35 years without some degree of anal attention to details (I heard that snicker, Edward), but this is something I’ve been waiting years to see happen and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let Prattling Patterson spoil it now. Time to call in a few favors.

**Journal Entry  
** April 23, 2371 [Stardate: 48309.13]

I must be loosing my touch, Edward. Even Owen Paris couldn’t pull strings for me this time. A matter of Federation security, my Aunt Fanny! Katie’s just too damn good at what she does. Like her father. Indispensable to the mission.

Well, at least it’s only three weeks. I just wish it were a different mission. I did a bit of research based on the scraps Owen was willing to throw my way. (Don’t act so shocked, my dear. Being the widow of a Vice Admiral with a high security clearance and knowing your way around mathematically based codes can be very useful.) Katie’s new ship, Voyager, may have been designed specifically for use in areas like the Badlands, but that doesn’t mean it’s invincible. We both know you don’t fool around with plasma storms. You need a damned good pilot to maneuver through a region like that. A pilot who - as you used to say - can fly by the seat of his/her pants. According to her records, Lieutenant Stadi, the pilot they assigned Katie is supposed to be that good. I certainly hope so.

Maybe I’d feel better about this mission if Katie had Tuvok with her. Yet another reason to kick Jim Patterson’s butt. I know how much Katie depends on that stoic Vulcan and his logical wisdom. Keeps her on an even keel even in the midst of chaos, she says. She has Cavit, but I’ve never warmed to that man. A bit too stodgy and by the book for my liking. Boot licker, you used to call that sort. And if there’s one thing Katie doesn’t need, it’s someone she can walk all over. I love our daughter, but sometimes she doesn’t know when to step back and reassess. A trait she gets from your side of the family, I’m sure.

Then there is the matter of the Maquis. Katie and I have had some pretty heated discussions over that issue. Freedom fighters or terrorists? Exemplary officer that she is, Katie carefully toes the Starfleet line. This baffles me a bit, Edward, considering she grew up listening to you talk about your distrust of the Cardassians. Oh, you worked long and hard for a treaty, but you also made it clear (at least to us) that you knew, deep down, the Federation was only buying time until they would have to take a more aggressive stance. I guess Katie has forgotten that — or had it trained out of her. I’m also guessing that to her this former Starfleet officer she is to capture — this Chakotay — is nothing more or less than a traitor. He turned his back on all that Katie lives and breathes, never mind that he probably feels that is exactly what the Federation did to his home world. Not to mention, all the other colonies blithely handed over to the Cardassians. Sometimes I wonder just what our Federation leaders are thinking when they make such asinine concessions. Or if they are even thinking.

Sorry, getting on my soapbox again when what I really wanted to do was tell you about Katie’s mission. The one complicating her wedding plans.

This Captain Chakotay — I read his Starfleet record. Entered the Academy earlier than most. I’m surprised his traditionalist family agreed to that. Top five percent of his class. Plenty of commendations and high praise from most of his commanding officers. He seems to have butted heads with a few, but if you’d seen the names, Edward, you wouldn’t be surprised either. What is it about an abundance of pips that makes some of the worst traits come out in A-type personalities? I’m willing to bet that if Chakotay and Katie have to deal with each other much beyond a simple capture and arrest the sparks are going to fly.

Of course capturing Chakotay and his crew might not be as easy as Starfleet seems to think. This man taught Advanced Tactical Training for several years up until he resigned his commission. He’s obviously going to have a few tricks up his sleeve. No, I don’t think this will be an easy three-week mission. I think Katie — and Starfleet — may find this to be more of an adventure than any of them planned. Which means, dear Edward, I’d better get started on some wedding preparations.

Jim Patterson, your ass is mine!!

**Journal Entry  
** May 10, 2371 [Stardate: 48355.93]

My dearest Edward,

Mark just left. I told him I’d be fine. And I will. Phoebe will be here tomorrow.

Truth of the matter is there is only so much commiserating one can share before you need time alone. I know this has hit him hard, too. He and Katie have been together a lot of years. But there’s a difference between facing the possible loss of a lover and the possible loss of a child. A difference that, as much as you want to say you understand how the other person is feeling, you truly can’t. You both need to come to terms with your hopes and fears in your own way. And in your own time.

Damn it all, wasn’t losing you enough?

**Journal Entry  
** May 14, 2371 [Stardate: 48366.66]

Dearest Edward,

I apologize for my last, abrupt entry. It probably didn’t make a whole lot of sense. Then again, at the time, not much was making sense. Let me try to explain.

Starfleet has lost contact with Katie’s ship. They’d anticipated having only intermittent communications due to the nature of the Badlands, but there has been no communication at all since Katie informed them Voyager was entering the region and proceeding to the last known coordinates of the Maquis ship. Coordinates provided by some Cardassian gul. Owen keeps assuring me it’s most likely just damage to their communications array, but in reality, that’s just a ploy to keep either one of us from acknowledging the fact that such damage should have been repaired by now. Or, failing that, an emergency beacon should have been deployed. Starfleet operatives in the area report no word of any ‘fleet ships destroyed — which is good news — but it doesn’t answer the question of why Voyager hasn’t reported in. There’s some concern they may have been captured, but interestingly enough, scuttlebutt from those same operatives says Chakotay’s ship is also rumored to be missing. Owen isn’t saying, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that Starfleet is also considering the possibility that Voyager engaged the Maquis ship and both ships were destroyed. Personally, I think Starfleet needs to be firing a few more hard questions at the Cardassians about all this.

Captured or destroyed, you and I both know it will be months before either can be confirmed. Until then, all I can do is hope and pray. Losing you, Edward, was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through. Yet, callous as it may sound, throwing myself into helping Katie deal with her own double loss helped me cope. As did darling Phoebe. She was the mortar that held us all together. I don’t know where she gets her strength. Maybe it’s that artist’s eye into other worlds, other possibilities. Or maybe it’s a passion for living and valuing each moment as if it was as fleeting as light and shadow. What I do know is how glad I am that she’s here for me again. We’re here for each other.

And for Mark. Poor man. I realize now I haven’t been very considerate of his feelings since we first heard that Katie and her ship had gone missing. As Phoebe reminded me, he has been a part of this family for several years now — his and Katie’s marriage would have merely confirmed that. Not to mention that we are the only family he has. Another thing I’d forgotten. I’ll comm him in a bit and ask him over for dinner.

* * *

**Journal Entry  
** May 20, 2372 [Stardate: 49384.79]

Dearest Edward,

Today would have been is our Kathryn’s 40th birthday, and if I close my eyes, I can picture her here, glaring at such a huge fuss over her special day, but secretly loving every minute of it. Yes, that’s a much better vision than the reality where she has been missing for over a year now. Not that I’ve given up hope. Oh, I know there are people who would call me crazy for still clinging to such optimism after all this time, but wouldn’t a mother know, deep down inside, if her child were truly gone? And I don’t feel that, Edward. Not yet.

And that is possibly the hardest part of all this — the not knowing. A statement of death is a fact, a fact you can deal with one way or another. Missing in action is an uncertainty, an unquantifiable equation. Your mind runs and runs with the possibilities and the impossibilities. How do you mourn for someone abruptly taken from you, yet her fate remains unknown?

I much prefer to cling to the fact that our daughter is a survivor. Do you remember, Edward, how from the time she was a child, you and I tried in instill in her, and her sister, a pioneering spirit? A spirit that didn’t depend on modern conveniences or “in the box” thinking. A spirit that has helped our eldest to endure not only the normal childhood calamities, but also gave her an edge while completing her Starfleet training — especially survival training. I know it’s that spirit that kept her going during her incarceration in a Cardassian prison. And it was that same spirit that eventually — with a bit of an ice cold kick-start courtesy of her sister — pulled her back into the world of the living after the shuttle accident on Tau Ceti Prime that took both you and Justin from us.

Yes, Edward, our Kathryn Elizabeth Janeway is a survivor. I’m counting on that.

Though it would be nice if she has someone who encourages her to eat regularly, relax now and then, and keep her coffee intake to a reasonable amount. That would increase her chances of survival even more.

Later . . .

Hello again, love.

I know you will shake your head at my foolishness, but on days like this when Kathryn has been in the forefront of my thoughts, I often find myself indulging in what might-have-been. For example, if we ever got that wedding planned and executed, Kathryn and Mark would have been married for almost a year now. It would be a safe, comfortable match — not at all the tumultuous, passionate relationship I think either of us would have pictured for our fiery redhead. Not at all what we had, my love. Do you remember our fights — fights almost as heated and intense as our lovemaking afterwards? Kathryn had a taste of that with Justin.

And maybe that is why she chose safe and comfortable this time. Yet I can’t help wondering if that’s also why she put off formalizing her relationship with Mark for so long. Don’t get me wrong, Edward, Mark is a loving, intelligent man who would have moved heaven and earth to make our daughter happy. However, romantic fool that I am, I’d have liked to have seen my daughter find the “cipher to her code” (as we say in the math world) the same way I did.

Speaking of math, would M plus K have resulted in GIP by now? On one of his visits, Mark told me they’d been discussing starting a family. Personally, I think Kathryn would make a marvelous mother, but I wonder if she would have given herself the chance. Women may have been combining motherhood and careers for centuries now, but you and I both know there are still professions that make it a harder balancing act. And there’s no denying that Kathryn has always been ambitious when it comes to her Starfleet career. I also know she didn’t want to have the same regrets you had about duty versus family.

Don’t get me wrong, my love; you did the best you could under the circumstances. You were the best man for what Starfleet needed you to do, but we both know it kept you away from home more than either of us would have liked. And I know how much you resented that aspect of your job. Just as the girls and I resented you being gone. Yet we never resented you, Edward — and we managed. And were perhaps even the stronger for it.

So rest assured, my love, if being a mother is something our Katie wants, she will work it out.

Then again, this is all just a wantabe grandmother’s speculation. I’m sure wherever Kathryn is right now, having babies and worrying about leaving them behind is the last thing on her mind.

* * *

**Journal Entry  
** May 20, 2373 [Stardate: 50383.1]

My dearest Edward,

Please forgive the tears marring this page, but today was the memorial service for Kathryn and her crew. I doubt any of the planners realized the significance of the date. Forty-one years ago, I brought my eldest daughter into the world. Today I’m trying hard to come to terms with laying my hopes for her survival to rest. Yet, it has been over two years since she set out on what was to be her last mission before her marriage to Mark. A standard three-week mission: retrieve Tuvok from his undercover assignment (yes, Owen finally let that slip), and, if possible, capture a Maquis cell in the process.

It seems fate captured her instead.

**Journal Entry  
** May 21, 2373 [Stardate: 50384.36]

Dear Edward,

In the midst of yesterday’s sadness, I forgot to mention something that not only saddened me further, but made me angry as well. All this time and it wasn’t until yesterday that I learned Owen’s son was on board Voyager when it was lost. My god, I was so embarrassed when they read off “Thomas Eugene Paris, civilian” during the service. Elizabeth has been so supportive and considerate of all the families these past two years, yet not one of us knew she deserved the same. Damn Owen and his pride. Two years. And never once did that man mention that he and Elizabeth were going through the same uncertainty and anguish as all the other Voyager families.

Yes, Edward, I know this is the same young man who ended up dishonorably discharged not long after his graduation from the Academy. Then topped that off just a few years later by joining the Maquis — only to be captured and charged with treason. Nevertheless, he is still Owen’s son, and though Owen might be embarrassed or just plain disgusted with his son’s infamy, no parent can ever really stop loving his child.

But oh, how he tried to hide it. Tell me, Edward, why are Starfleet officers so stubborn about showing honest emotion? Do you really believe it diminishes you somehow to show your humanness? Or is this another foolish maxim drummed into Starfleet’s finest? “Never let them catch you caring.” Horse pucky!!

And if that’s how our daughter would have become . . . Well, I’m not sure I could have stood by and watched my own flesh and blood lock her emotions away behind a wall of protocol. That’s not living. That’s going through the motions. And you can bet she and I would have had some serious mother-daughter talks about that. With me doing most of the talking!

Oh god, I miss her, Edward!

And you, my love.

**Journal Entry  
** May 27, 2373 [Stardate: 50402.28]

Dearest Edward,

I had a very pleasant Sunday brunch today with Phoebe and the young man she’s been dating. Earlier this week, when she called to say they were coming, Phoebe said she had some news best shared in person. Well, it wasn’t hard to guess — not after seeing the smitten looks the two of them were sharing. However, it did surprise me when, over dessert, Richard formally asked my permission to marry our daughter. I just as formally granted permission. You would have done the same, Edward, if you’d been here. I’ve grown to admire and love this young man in the six months he and Phoebe have been together. He will keep her grounded in the real world without stifling her creativity, and she will temper his practicality with inspiration and dreams. Our little one has found her cipher, love.

But that wasn’t all Phoebe’s news. Starfleet has commissioned her to create the artwork to be dedicated in memory of Kathryn’s ship and crew. I remember now some mention during the service last week of a memorial of some sort being planned, but I had no idea Phoebe had submitted a proposal. After seeing the sketches of her piece, I can see how she garnered this commission. Cut crystal and burnished metal pieces all carefully positioned and lighted, and held in place with miniature force fields: Voyager floating amidst a field of unknown stars. It’s perfect.

**Journal Entry  
** July 10, 2373 [Stardate: 50523]

Dearest Edward,

Martha and I spent this past week packing up Kathryn’s apartment. It’s a week I hope to never repeat. You’d think after two years of knowing this day might come, not to mention sitting through her memorial service, I’d have been better prepared. Oh, Edward, the memories that clung like bittersweet perfume to everything I touched.

Shelves of real books. She certainly had an eclectic taste in literature. Classics mixed with gothic romances. Scientific treatises next to mysteries. Engineering manuals rubbing spines with poetry. Did the open spaces mark the books she took with her?

And scattered between the books, and here and there about the furnishings, were knickknacks and mementoes. A couple of the da Vinci models she built as a child. A replica of the fossil she discovered on Mars. Her ballet slippers and the program from her first recital preserved in a stasis display box. Do you remember our beautifully earnest dying swan?

We found her awards and honors stuffed in a box in the closet. Martha couldn’t understand why, as hard as she worked for them, Kathryn never displayed those. I tried to explain our daughter’s philosophy of self-challenge, but I’m not sure Martha understood even then. I left her muttering to herself and packing up the rest of Kathryn’s bedroom while I packed up the kitchen. Not that there was much to pack there. When I think of all the time I wasted teaching that girl to cook. Wasn’t she listening when I told her replicator dependency would only bring her years of frustration and less than appealing food?

The contents of Kathryn’s desk I just boxed, leaving any sorting through it for another time. If Starfleet had deemed any of it of importance — or heaven forbid, a matter of Federation security — they would have been banging down the door long before this. Maybe I’ll ask Mark if he would mind going through those boxes. He might have a better idea of what might be worth keeping. I also need him to sort through Kathryn’s holo-images and albums with me. I’m sure he’d like duplicates of some of those. I just wish we’d found the one thing he really wanted: a copy of Dante’s “Inferno” he gave Kathryn as an engagement gift. She must have taken it with her.

Mark has offered to give Molly a permanent home with him, and for that, I am grateful. I love dogs as much as Kathryn, but the three I already have are more than enough. Besides, after two years, she really is Mark’s dog now, whether he admits it or not.

Later . . .

I just spent the past hour or so going through Kathryn’s Lake George album, Edward. Do you remember how much she and Phoebe pretended to loathe going there as children — and even more so as teenagers? I wonder if either of them, looking back at these images, has ever realized their unguarded expressions gave them away every time.

We had some glorious times there, Edward, didn’t we? Days of you teaching the girls woods-lore and me teaching them how to handle a sailboat. Nights gathered around a campfire or in front of the big fireplace popping popcorn, devouring s’mores, singing badly, or seeing who could come up with the most outrageous ghost story.

I think tomorrow I will comm Phoebe and Martha and tell them we are taking a family trip to Lake George for a few days. This family has existed under a pall of gloom and sadness for long enough. You and Kathryn were very special to us, but it’s time for those of us still living to remember all we have that’s worth living for — and for living to the fullest. I know you and Kathryn would agree.

* * *

**Journal Entry  
** March 13, 2374 [Stardate: 51196.46]

My dearest Edward,

Our first grandchild was born today. Seven pounds, seven ounces of beautiful baby girl: Kathryn Martha. Her great-aunt Martha, of course, is over the moon to be so honored.

As for her other namesake, don’t laugh, Edward, but after one look at those bright eyes — which I know are going to stay blue — and that thatch of reddish hair, I haven’t any doubt that this little one is going to have that same indomitable spirit as her Aunt Kathryn. And while that may have Phoebe and Richard tearing their hair out just as we did, it will be good to see that bit of our Kathryn living on.

**Journal Entry  
** June 19, 2374 [Stardate: 51465.41]

KATHRYN IS ALIVE, EDWARD! SHE’S ALIVE!!!!!

Oh lord, my hand is trembling so much I can hardly write, but I need to get this down. Katie is alive! 60,000 light-years away, but alive. Owen said something about her ship being pulled into the Delta Quadrant by some alien being. The Delta Quadrant. My god, that’s a lifetime away from here. At least sixty years unless they find phenomena or technology that will shorten their journey. But she’s alive!

Oh, Edward, our daughter is alive!

**Journal Entry  
** June 21, 2374 [Stardate: 51469.86]

My dearest Edward,

Now that I’ve had a couple of days to take this all in and to read and re-read the information Owen sent me — said it was to save me the trouble of hacking into Starfleet’s database again. Anyway, now that I’ve done that, hopefully I can write something here that will be a bit more comprehensible and comprehensive.

It seems that while tracking the Maquis ship Tuvok infiltrated, a coherent tetrion beam caught Voyager and pulled them into the Delta Quadrant. The Maquis ship suffered a similar fate. Owen didn’t give me a lot of details about what happened after that except that the end result was Katie making the decision to destroy the source of the tetrion beam in order to save one race of people from another race intent on destroying or enslaving them. I wouldn’t have expected anything less from our daughter; however, that decision did leave Voyager stranded in the Delta Quadrant.

In an interesting twist of fate, it seems the Maquis captain sacrificed his ship to protect Voyager. (Which tells me there was a heated battle during all this; one Owen conveniently forgot to mention.) Captain Chakotay and his people ended up on Voyager. And here’s where it gets really interesting. Instead of locking the Maquis in the brig, Katie invited them to join her crew. Owen didn’t say so directly, but what he did say gave me the impression Katie lost several crewmembers during whatever happened with the tetrion beam and that unmentioned battle. One of them must have been Cavit because Chakotay is now her first officer. Another interesting twist of fate, don’t you think? I don’t know Chakotay, except what I’ve read of his background, but in my book, any man willing to sacrifice his career — and his life — for his convictions is going to be a force to reckon with.

As is our daughter. That red hair isn’t just for looks. I remember mentioning in an earlier entry that the sparks were likely to fly in any dealings between those two. A more antithetical relationship I can’t imagine. I just hope when the smoke clears, those two can find a way to work together with minimal collateral damage to themselves and the ship and crew. It’s going to be interesting to hear how that plays out.

I’m also eager to hear about their journey. Imagine being the first to explore a completely new quadrant. Katie must be in scientist heaven. Or she will be if the demands on her as a captain in this situation don’t keep her scientific side at bay. Another reason to hope she and Chakotay learn to trust each other. Katie can’t expect to be on-duty twenty-four seven. Oh, I know she will try, but that’s exactly why she needs someone who can out stubborn her. Or at least cajole or even trick her into accepting some limitations on how hard she pushes herself. When they do make it back to the Alpha Quadrant, I’d rather Katie hasn’t turned into some hardened, worn-out, old harridan who’s forgotten how to take joy in life. They have too long a journey ahead of them for that.

One thing puzzles me, though, in the information Owen provided. When originally pulled into the DQ, Voyager was 75,000 light-years from the AQ. Their current reported position puts them only 60,000 light-years distant. Somehow, they’ve managed to cut 15 years off their journey in only a little over three years. Another interesting story, I’m sure.

Unfortunately, more information will have to wait until a regular communications link is established. Owen’s information said Voyager tapped into an alien communication’s relay system to send their message (Does this mean the owners don’t know?), and while Starfleet is hoping to use the same system for further communications, there is no guarantee that will be possible. (Incase the owners protest?) However, Starfleet has promised to provide a limited amount of space in their proposed data stream for personal letters.

Which reminds me, I need to get going or I will be late to my meeting with Sarah Carey (her husband is a senior engineer on Voyager) and Helen Kim (her son is Katie’s Operations officer). Owen has asked the three of us to coordinate contacting the families of Voyager’s crew and compiling any letters they wish to send. Owen has also promised to put us in contact with a woman who can facilitate contact with the families of the Maquis crewmembers. Though I guess they are former Maquis now. Well, whatever their status, I’m sure they are just as eager as the rest of the crew for news of family and friends.

**Journal Entry  
** July 4, 2374 [Stardate: 51506.05]

My dearest Edward,

Our messages to our loved ones are on their way. Now, it’s up to the will of the cosmos and whatever rituals we all choose to perform in an effort to ensure those messages reach their destination. Besides a litany of fervent prayers, I’ve got everything crossed on my body that can possibly be crossed — or I will after I’ve finished this entry. Martha, I’m sure, is making use of every charm and talisman she collected while researching that book she wrote on superstitious lore. Don’t laugh, Edward. Whatever works! Those people are as in need as hearing we are all still thinking of them as we are to let them know.

Yet, it wouldn’t be totally honest of me if I didn’t add a caveat to our hopes for the safe arrival of those messages. I only wish all the news was good news. Which I know isn’t reasonable after all this time — it has been over three years, after all. Circumstances change and people move on. I only hope that after all this time, Katie’s crew has formed its own support network and that it will be enough to get everyone through any rough spots ahead.

Actually, whether or not to send “bad news” was a hotly debated topic amongst family and friends while we were gathering personal messages. Not even the Starfleet counselors could reach a consensus. Sarah finally suggested we contact Deanna Troi, a noted counselor serving on with Captain Jean-Luc Picard. (You remember him, don’t you, Edward? Short, wiry, bald as a cue ball. Appears as officious as hell until you get to know him. Has a voice that could charm a Ferengi out of his latinum.). Sarah became acquainted with Counselor Troi during her husband Joe’s tour of duty on the Enterprise and found her to be not only exceptionally compassionate, but also refreshingly candid in her opinions.

Sarah couldn’t have been more right. Deanna reaffirmed what we all knew deep down in our hearts: bad news isn’t pleasant, but in the long run, it’s much less painful than living on false hopes. As Martha would say, better to stumble over a pebble now, than to run into a rock wall later on. So, while Tuvok will learn his eldest son has married and has a baby girl, William Telfer will learn that his brother died of an unknown disease he contracted on a research mission. Samantha Wildman will learn her husband, Greskrendtregk, is thrilled to hear she is alive and will wait for as long as it takes her to return home; however, Mike Ayala will learn his wife has remarried, even though it tore her up to tell him. Tom Paris will receive a letter intended to heal the rift between father and son, but unfortunately, we were unable to contact either of B’Elanna Torres’ parents.

Even Katie’ first officer won’t be spared bad news. Chakotay’s letter from Sveta, the woman who helped us contact the families of his former crew, will break the news of the massacre at Telvik’s Moon — in my opinion, truly the unconscionable tragedy of the Dominion War. I don’t envy him telling his people that they, and a handful of others now in prison, are all that remain of the Maquis. I only wish we had been able to balance that news with news of his sister. Sadly, she remains missing.

The letter that worries me the most, however, is one being sent to our own sweet Katie. This past year, Mark began seeing a woman he met at work. They married in March of this year, just four months ago. Carla is a warm, loving woman and she’s made Mark smile again for the first time in a very long time. I don’t begrudge him his happiness and I know, once she comes to terms with it, Katie won’t either. She has to have known that after almost four years, the chances were good Mark would have moved on.

But this is the second fiancé she’s lost, Edward. True, the circumstances couldn’t be more different, but I’m worried that in Katie’s mind, she will still see this as another failure. That, somehow, because of her decision to strand Voyager in the Delta Quadrant, she failed to keep her commitment to Mark. And we both know our daughter doesn’t give herself near enough slack in that department. You’d think she’d been raised by nuns, the affinity she has for guilt. It took her a long time to accept there was nothing she could have done to save Justin or you. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me if there were still a tiny piece of that guilt tucked away in her subconscious. This time around, I’m hoping she won’t let misplaced guilt cloud her own happiness. Perhaps now that she knows Mark has moved on, she will allow herself the same luxury.

Oh, don’t give me that old horse-pucky about fraternization, Edward. These people are on what could very well be a 60-some year mission. I doubt even you could hold yourself aloof and isolated from the people around you for that long. In fact, I know you couldn’t. Or have you forgotten our times together when you returned from your own missions? Or how often you wished you had the kinds of assignments that allowed your family to be with you?

No, when Starfleet establishes regular communications with Voyager, I’m hoping to hear more from Katie not only about her adventures in this unexplored quadrant, but also about her everyday life, her relationships with her officers and crew, and even her hopes and fears for the future. And most of all, I want what every mother wants for her child. I want to hear that she is happy.

Don’t you, Edward?

THE END


End file.
